I am surrounded in color
the yellow haze, the wet purple
of lilacs, the orange chains
of rust and motor oil.
Here, I am space ready
I am surrounded in weight
weight that pushes and hides
and blindfolds me, blood
on my cheeks. I am a void
being filled with dirt
a heavy shovel, a man’s sweaty hands
he fills me.
Here, the weight I will forget for years.
I am surrounded in cold
after the music, there is a numbing
that spreads like ink
a chill that never disperses
as I come undone in the mirror.
Here, my brain fills with lesions.
I am surrounded in heat and noise
I am surrounded in voices
calling my name, whispering to me
I am surrounded by godless stars
where the vacuum of space fills my heart,
embedding tracks of darkest memories
across my chest and into my veins.
Here, I am white noise, breaking.
Here, I am angry. So angry. So angry.
Here, alone in my room at night
I whisper Be Brave, Resist, Fight
I touched the first sparks of a wild fire.
I am a void. Burning.